In the Wilderness

i would never insist

but if you are willing

i would like to show you the house

i would like to walk you through

the wilderness

okayyeswonderful

the full tour then

we start here

we start with the fullness

the wilderness

we start with the rabbit

who has waited for us

the rabbit who has no name

no momma and no daddy

but she is sweet affection

i hope you feel this

because she knows you

she’s been your biggest fan

yes, your entire life

go ahead tell her your secrets

we all do

some say if you don’t you might not

find your way back

not ever

but i choose not to believe that

i choose to believe

we always find our way back

from these dreams

from this wilderness

but come, more awaits

up the stairs there is music

you are not hearing things

neither imagining anything

you heard correctly

i said here in this place

your heart is in your hand

the same heart that you found while singing

well into the night and i know you’re older now

but you haven’t forgotten the melody

or how to step through encroaching vines

and you still know how to sing your way

out the door and into the night

yes yes you do, don’t you now

let’s keep things moving

the beautiful wilderness

the beautiful baby

we have all heard them both

crying in the distance

crying with gasping breaths in between

but if you hold her

if you rock her

she quiets down

then you feed her and she loves you

and she would have you stay here forever

she would prefer if you never left

but have to leave eventually

when the time comes you hop on the horse

you gallop away

gallop away and don’t look back

in the next room there are whispers

i like to imagine they are invitations

spoken with such softness

invitations perhaps

some lovely little person inviting us

to a wonderful wedding in the spring

i love a spring wedding

i certainly do

and i love getting made love to

in the spring

in the wilderness

honestly, i melt into a puddle

a beautiful little puddle of rainwater i become

reflecting all the green moss, all the stained wood

as the wind ripples over me and i close my eyes

falling not quite into sleep

but something like it

down the next corridor lies the meadow

which the wilderness hides in her pocket

there are all sorts of animals in there

there are stories galore

there is a foresty feel in the air

and trees will read to you in this room

a poem or two as if you were a child

because getting read to has become quite rare

for people like us

but the trees are here and i am here

and one day we’ll read to each other

that’s a suspicion i have

which i wanted to share

that reminds me

i also want to tell you

i see owls when i sit in the darkness

when i close my eyes

i see owls

when i’m up on the roof

when i’m persephone

when i’m joyously announcing the arrival

of crescent moons for everyone

one for you, one for your friend, on and on

i see owls

owls watch me

watch me perform all the little Greek plays

that i make up for fun

i’m adding one more soliloquy you know

a hundred year soliloquy

most owls don’t even live that long

but some do

in the wilderness

but i’m not ready

not yet

sorry i forget myself

up these stairs are windows

where one can behold the mountains

which mark the midway point

of the neverending wilderness

it’s cold in there but of course i do like it

i sit, think, and shiver

sometimes forever

and we hold water in the room above us

we hold in our hands our goldfish

who was once just a rumor

a sparkle from the fire

but now she swims freely

and she stays devoted to her work

to her words, to her craft

she is a muse for the multitudes

and dare i say

she carries that weight effortlessly

i sad to say that the goddess

is having no visitors today

such the shame, she is a marvel

a womanly work of magic and majesty

and when she kisses you on your lips

you feel the wilderness deeper

you hold everything tighter

you see stars you’ve never seen before

and you watch in unbelief

as all rivers everywhere perform miracles

and paths crisscross and snakes eat grass

and garden stones roll over

but she will not have us

not today

lastly is our own nakedness

lastly is a portrait of our own beauty

lastly there are pulled back curtains

lastly fires burn

lastly we wilderness away